A guide to writing your wedding vows…
Writing your own vows and confessing your love to one another, especially in front of family and friends, can be so daunting. With my ten handy top tips, I hope you find the words you want to say.
Let’s start by defining the word vow! It’s essentially a solemnly promise to do a specified thing. And in this case? Marriage. Including some promises a) makes sense and b) is also a lovely element to add into your ceremony. It also makes it really personal outside of legal vows.
Don’t leave it to the last minute. But don’t do it too early so that you’re stewing on it either. A month or two out would be perfect and give you ample time to prepare what you really want to say.
Talk to your partner about the types of vows you are going to share. Reflecting on why or how much you love each other. Are you keeping it fun and cheeky, or going to take it serious or maybe, both? Are you both sharing promises? It’s your ceremony, you do whatever feels right to you both. Lean on humour if you’re both into that. There’s nothing better than mid serious vows getting a little giggle or smile from your significant other.
Vows can be however long you like and it is my job to ensure that they are similar in length. It’s always a great idea to check in with your partner and make sure that one isn’t super long than the other. Typical wedding vows can range from a couple of minutes, which is usually about 200-300 words. It can also be less, with say 4-5 dot points of promises.
It’s always really beautiful to include an ‘I will always love you’ or ‘I promise to always love you’. Or reasons why you fell in love and can look back on these one day, especially if times get tough.
My biggest writing tip is to do an out-pour. With no pressure on what it may look or feel like, just write whatever comes to your mind. A bit like if you were to journal… Scribble it all down, long sentences and even bullet points to get the creative juices flowing.
Another idea, is to write a card to them. Like you would any birthday or anniversary. Then take words that are popping up and share them with your spouse. For those who just write, To XXX, love XXX - don’t worry - I’ve got you. Keep reading!
Think about some thought starters - why are you excited to spend the rest of your lives together? What does marriage mean to you? Why did you say yes to tying the knot? What do you love about each other? What brings out the best in each other? What do you hope to achieve in your marriage together? You promise to… love / give / tell / respect. And lastly, I vow to always…
Get on Pinterest and Google to find inspiration. Use lyrics from your favourite love song, quotes from your favourite book or movie. Sometimes leaning on someone else to say the words you wish you could write, is perfect. You can also ask loved ones what they think. What did your parents say to each other, or talk to your bestie. Your friends can pop out cute things about you both that you could include.
If you are really struggling… and you just can’t face it, then please, talk to your partner. I am always under the impression that sharing vows on the day should be an enjoyable and meaningful moment between you both. If it is something you really can’t get your head around and don’t want the fuss of doing it in front of others, my advice would be to do it in private before the wedding. Taking the pressure off and doing it in private does not make it less meaningful, in fact in some cases it can be really special. And if that doesn’t feel right either, exchanging a wedding card with heartfelt words inside can also be such a lovely touch to the idea of what vows are.
You can do this!
And remember, whatever you write means something and your partner loves you for you.
If you need any further help, I’m here to help. <3
